14 signs your Kitty wants you dead
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Loading ...14. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
13. Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey’s 900 number on your bill.
12. You find a stash of “Feline of Fortune” magazines behind the couch.
11. Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
10. You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed.
09. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
08. Droppings in litter box spell out “REDRUM.”
07. Takes attentive notes every time “Itchy and Scratchy” are on.
06. You find blueprints for a Rube Goldberg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
05. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
04. Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
03. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman’s noose.
02. You find a piece of paper labeled “MY WIL” that reads “LEEV AWL 2 KAT.”
01. Now sharpens claws on your car’s brake lines.
