20 MORE signs of a Cheap HMO
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Loading ...1. Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
2. Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental
procedure,”
3. Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,”
4. Exam room has a tip jar.
5. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
6. “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?”
7. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.
8. “Take two leeches and call me in the morning,”
9. The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.
10. Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow’s doorstep.
11.”Pre-natal vitamin” prescription is a box of Tic-Tacs.
12. Chief Surgeon graduated from University of Benihana.
13. Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.
14. Plan covers only “group” gynecological exams.
15. Preprinted prescription pads that say, “Walk it off, you sissy.”
16. To avoid a time consuming and expensive throat culture,
the doctor just French kisses you.
17. You can get your flu shot as soon as “the” hypodermic needle is dry.
18. 24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK
19. Costly MRI equipment efficiently replaced by an oversized 2-sided copier.
20. Enema? The lavatory faucet swivels to face upward.
