3 generals
During world war 2 a Scottish general, an English general and an Irish general were captured by a German S.S. officer. They were all standing outside a concentration camp when the S.S. agent says,
“Before du go in to die concentration camp , I vill give each of you vone hundert lashes , but since you have vought bravely I vill give you one vish each.”
He then turns to the Scottish general and asks him,
“Vhat is your vish ? ”
And the scottish general replies, “I would like one of your wee S.S. jackets to put on me when you are whipping me ”
“Your vish is granted,” says the S.S. officer and he goes and gets a leather S.S. jacket to put on the Scottish general . Once he has it on , he gives him one hundred lashes with his whip and the Scottish general crawls into the concentration camp.
Next the S.S. officer goes to the English general and says, “Du have vought bravely also, Vhat ist your vish?”
The English general replies, “I would like a mattress to put across my back, old boy!”
The S.S. officer gets a mattress and puts it across the English general’s back and gives him one hundred lashes. The English general then crawls into the concentration camp.
Next the S.S. officer goes to the Irish general and says, “Du have also vought bravely , even more bravely than sie other two , for this I vill give du two vishes ”
Immediately the Irish general replies, “I would like two hundred lashes!”
The S.S. officer replies, “Are du sure?”
“Yes I am!” replies the Irish general.
The S.S. officer then says, “Fair enough, then vhat vould your second vish be??”
The Irish general then replies, “Put that english bastard on my back!!!”