A New House Bill
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Loading ...Introducing a House Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys
PC 370.00
370.01 -Any person with a valid State Rodent or Snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.
370.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.
370.03 -The willful targeting of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.
370.04 -It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.
370.05 -It is unlawful to shout, “WHIPLASH”, “AMBULANCE,” or “FREE SCOTCH” for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
370.06 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships except on Wednesday afternoons.
370.07 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals, or brothels.
370.08 -If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.
370.09 -It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
370.10 Bag Limits per day:
Yellow-bellied sidewinders -2
Two-faced tortfeasors -1
Back-stabbing divorce litigators -3
Horn-rimmed cutthroats -2
Minutiae-advocating chickens-4
Honest attorneys PROTECTED (Endangered Species)
