A Vocabulary Lesson
arachnoleptic fit, n:
The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally
walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug, n:
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
bozone, n:
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down at any time in the future.
cashtration, n:
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
caterpallor, n:
The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
dopelar effect, n:
(1) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly. (2) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
extraterrestaurant, n:
An eating place where you feel you’ve been abducted and
experimented on. Also known as ETry.
foreploy, n:
Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.
Grantartica, n:
The cold, isolated place where arts companies without funding dwell.
intaxication, n:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
kinstirpation, n:
A painful inability to get rid of relatives who come to visit.
lullabuoy, n:
An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.