Acts 2:38

A notorious burglar observes the day-to-day activities of an old lady who is living alone in an apartment as he waits for an opportunity to rob her place if she ever leaves. Sure enough when the old lady goes out to attend an early evening mass, the burglar goes into action and manages to break into her apartment. However, as the burglar is looking for anything to steal, the old lady unexpectedly comes back to the apartment as she forgets her rosary. When the old lady opens her door, she discovers the burglar trying to carry off her television set.

The old lady says in a stern voice to the burglar, “Stop what you’re doing!” And being a religious devotee, she quotes from the Bible, “Acts 2:38.” which she hopes will encourage the burglar to turn away from sin.

Surprisingly, the burglar stays in place and even raises his hands as if to surrender. The old lady then calmly phones the police for help.

When the police arrive, the old lady tells them what has just happened and points to the burglar still standing in place. As he is putting the cuffs on the burglar, the police officer asks the burglar, “Why did you not run away when the old lady was just quoting the Psalms?”

“What? She was just quoting the Psalms?” asks the hapless burglar. “I thought she said she had an axe and two .38s.”

This joke is filed under Religious.