Anti-Lawyer Q & A’s (A Baker’s Dozen)
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Loading ...Q. How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A. Depends on how thin you slice them.
Q. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q. How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly?
A. When your lawyer doesn’t seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore.
Q. What do you call an honest lawyer?
A. An impossibility.
Q. What’s the difference between an lawyer and a dog?
A. Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
Q. How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
A. Never enough.
Q. What do you need when you’ve have three lawyers up to their necks
in cement?
A. More cement.
Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A. The lawyer charges more.
Q. What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A. Your Honor.
Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q. If you have Hitler, Stalin, and a lawyer standing in front of you and you have a gun loaded with two bullets, who do you shoot first?
A. The lawyer, twice.
