Assorted Hodgepodge
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Loading ...Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case.
Coincidence?
I think not!
Last words spoken at the Last Supper:
“Everyone who wants to be in the picture, get on this side of the table.”
Why are there so many Smiths and Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.
Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic?”
Did you know that half of all people are below average?
If I could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, I’d choose the one who’s living.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. Now you know why they call it a workstation.
Chicken coops have two doors because if they had four doors they’d be chicken sedans.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Know what’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
If you cross a pit bull with a collie, you get a dog that rips your leg off and then runs for help.
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Why is it called a building when it’s already been built?
Sometimes I feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body. But luckily that man is gay, so no one seems to notice.
Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
Can an elephant jump higher than a lamppost?
Yes, lampposts can’t jump.
How do you make an elephant fly?
First, you start with a 48 inch zipper….
