Barbender, Another Martoutsy!
A very inebriated lady walks into a bar shortly before closing time, sits at the bar and orders, “Barbender, Barbender, I would like a Martoutsy.” The bartender brings her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.
“Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy.” Again, the bartender brings her a Martini. By this time, the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on.
She calls, “Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn.”
Patiently, the bartender comes near her and said, “Lady, I am NOT a barBENDer, but a barTENDer, and what you have been drinking are not marTOUTSYS, but MARTINIS, and finally, you do NOT have heartburn–your tit is hanging in the ashtray against your burning cigarette!”