Blonde Jokes… A List
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Loading ...How do you confuse a blonde boy?
You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner.
Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies?
Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.”
What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head
All you can eat under a buck
A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof. Who lands first?
The dumb blonde, there is no such thing as a smart blonde.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Give her a pack of M&M’s and yell her to put them in alphabetical order.
Why can’t blondes take coffee breaks?!?!?!?!
Because they’re to hard to retrain!
WHAT DO YOU CALL 4 BLONDES AT A FOUR WAY STOP?
ETERNITY!
HOW MANY BLONDE JOKES ARE THERE?
ONE, THE REST ARE ALL FACTS.
A brunette was dancing on the street corner singing “85, 85, 85″ when a blonde comes along and says, “Hey that looks like fun! Can I join you?” The brunette says, “Sure! But it’s more fun if you do it in the middle of the street!” So the blonde says, “ok!” and goes in the middle of the street dancing and chants, “85, 85, 85″. Just then a truck comes barrelling down the road and runs the blonde over. The brunette began to dance and sing “86, 86, 86!”
Why don’t blondes like bananas???
Because they don’t have zippers!!!!!
Blonde Invention: The luminous sundial
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde with a doctor?
A: A malpractice lawsuit.
Blonde: I was born in the U.S.
Friend: Oh really, what part?
Blonde: All of me, silly!
How is a pile of dog poo and a blonde similar?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Someone was having a heart attack, so the blonde ran to the police officer and said, “What is the number for 911?”
A woman hired a contractor to do some work on her new house. So she was talking to the guy that does the wallpaper and said, “I want blue wallpaper here,” but the man interrupted her and yelled out the window, “Green side up!”
She began again and said,”I want yellow wallpaper here,” but once again the man interupted her and yelled, “Green side up!”
So getting a little frustrated she said, “And I want RED wallpaper here, but for the third time he leaned out the window and yelled, “Green side up!”
Now she was mad and said, “Why the do you keep yelling that?”
“You see,” he said. “I have a bunch of blondes working on putting your turf down!”
Q. what do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells
A. gifted
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies’ Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie *poof* - - you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
Sooooo, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies’ Room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.”- - - *poof* The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think, I’m the sexiest woman alive ! - - - *poof* The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think….” - - -*poof*
Q. What’s this sound? vvvrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm eeeerrrrrrrrrr vvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm eeeeeeeeeeeeerrrr ??
A. A blonde at a blinking red light
Why do blondes have dimples and flat foreheads?
They go uurrr (point to corner of mouth) duh ( hit forehead)
Two redheads and three blondes were riding in a pickup truck. The three blondes were in the back. The truck goes over a bridge into a river. Who lives?
A. The redheads. The blondes couldn’t open the tailgate.