* Horn broken. Watch for finger.

* Keep honking…I’m reloading.

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.

* All generalizations are false.

* Cover me. I’m changing lanes.

* I brake for no apparent reason.

* Learn from your parents’ mistakes - use birth control.

* I’m not as think as you drunk I am.

* Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal.

* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

* He who laughs last thinks slowest.

* I love cats…they taste just like chicken.

* Rehab is for quitters.

* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.

* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

* I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

* Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

* No radio - Already stolen.

* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

* It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

* Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

* Caution: I drive like you do.

This joke is filed under Funny Stories.

you ever see those bumper stickers that say: “my teen son is an honor student at polk high school. I think they should be more true to life.
“My child molester teen is enrolled at the Michael jackson university of Molesting arts ”

“I am a proud father of Inmate #ymenjail666 at the Appalachian county juvenile detention center”.

“I am aproud father of an aids infested, cross-dressing, ufo believing ,crack head at I am always high school”.

“My 13 year old son is the proud father of his sex education teacher’s newborn at rock the cradle elementary”

This joke is filed under Funny Stories.