There were two Irish women walking down the main street of Belfast when one said to the other, “Don’t you think all those soldiers look stupid wearing camouflage uniforms in the middle of a city?”

The other woman replied, “What soldiers?”

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A General was reviewing the troops as they went through their camouflage exercises… “Nice waterfall, soldier!” he said; “Great burning bush!” he said to another. As he passed an old oak tree, it jumped…

“#$@%&!!” the General raged. “Get out here soldier!”

When the soldier came out, the General said “You know, the lives of the company depend on absolute stillness… what the @#$% happened?!!”

The soldier said, “Well sir, I didn’t flinch when the K-9 corps was marking me all day, and I didn’t bat an eye when the General’s kids were putting their names on my trunk with their penknives… but when two squirrels ran up my pants leg, and I heard one say, ‘Let’s eat one now, and save the other for winter’, I had to move!!!”

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This joke is filed under Funny Stories.