(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...A reporter, interviewing an old fisherman who had reached his 99th birthday, said, “I certainly hope I can come back again next year and see you reach 100.”
“Can’t see why not, young man,” the old fisherman said. “You look healthy enough to me.”
(2 votes, average: 2.5 out of 5) Loading ... (1 votes, average: 2 out of 5) Loading ...Three men were drinking at a bar — a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For her birthday I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring.”
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, “For my wife’s birthday I’m going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn’t like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet.”
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he
said, “I’m going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn’t like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...April 26, 1999
Why I Fired My Secretary
Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me.
She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you.
The children will remember.” The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, “Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday.”
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.
About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.”
I said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.”
We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”
I said, “No, I guess not.”
She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”
After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.”
“Sure,” I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out…carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends.
All were singing Happy Birthday.
… and there on the couch I sat…
… with nothing on but my socks……
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Yo mama is so fat….. When she jumped out of my birthday cake I wanted my money back.
Yo mama wear so much make up last time we went to the circus they let her in free cause they thought she was part of the clown act.
Yo mama is so fat she buys lingerie at Sea World
