Blonde Jokes

Q: What do blondes and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They are both empty from the shoulders and up.

She is not: An airhead
She is: Reality Impaired

She is not: A Bleached Blonde
She is: Peroxide Dependent

She is not: A babe or chick
She is: A Breasted American

She does not have: Major league hooters
She is: Pectorally Superior

She does not have: A Great Tan
She is: Pigmentally Enhanced

You do not want to: Score or pick her up
You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter

She is not: A perfect 10
She is: Numerically Superior

She does not have: A great butt
She has: A Superior Posterior

If she does not want to get: Married or hitched
She does not want: Domestic Incarceration

She is not: Half naked
She is: Wardrobe Impaired

She does not have: A perfect body
She is: Anatomically Gifted

She is not: Drunk or tipsy
She is: Chemically Inconvenienced

She is not: Small or short
She is: Vertically Challenged

What’s the difference between a blonde and a barbed wire fence?

A barbed wire fence pricks a steer and a blonde steers a prick.

Why did the blonde wear a g-string when skydiving?

To stop her whistling.

A blonde whent to a paper company and ordered a roll of paper 1/2 inch wide and 50 feet long. The paper salesman asked the blonde, “Why do you need a paper that size?”

The blonde replied, “I am moving and I need to pack my clothes line.”