Blonde Jokes

How did the blonde explain his helicopter crash?

He said the room was getting too cold so he shut off the ceiling fan.

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She walks into her boyfriends aparment and he is in a red heads arms. The boyfriend gets up and says, “Honey what are you doing here?” She pulls out the gun and points it at her boyfrien then at her head. The boyfriend yells, “Honey don’t do it!” The blonde yells backat him, “Shutup your next!

Once there was a blonde with a pack of matches, she took one match it didn’t light so she threw it away. She took a second match it didn’t light so she threw that away too. She took a third match, it lit, she blew it out and put it in her pocket and said, “This one is good I better keep it.”

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a chic gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”

“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “I ask him a simple question, which everyone should answer with no trouble at all. If he hesitates, that tells me just what I need to know.”

“What sort of question?”

“Well, I might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’”

The hostess thought for a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

If a blonde and a brunette were to jump off a tower who would hit the ground first?

The brunette, because the blond would stop and ask directions.