Blonde Jokes

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A BLONDE HAS BEEN IN YOUR OFFICE?

THERE IS WHITE-OUT ALL OVER YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN

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HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A BLONDE HAS BEEN IN YOUR OFFICE AGAIN?

THERE IS WRITING ON THE WHITE-OUT!!

A blonde went to the doctor with both of her ears burned. When he asked what happened she replied, “Well I was ironing my clothes when someone called and I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone.”

“I see,” said the doctor, “but how did you burn the other ear?”

“The creep called back!”

NASA wass preparing for another mission and wanted to send a woman into space. To find the right one, NASA officials interviewed a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.

They called in the brunette and told her that she was one of the finalists to go into space. Then one of the officials asked her what planet she would like to visit and why. She thought about it and then said that she would like to go to Jupiter and study everything there becasue it was just so big. The officials said ok and that they would be getting in touch with her at a later date.

Next, the NASA offcials called in the red head. They asked her the same thing as the brunette. The redhead then said that she wanted to go to Mars because she thought that with all the recent discoveries there, it would be worthwhile. The officials said ok and that they would get in touch with her at a later date.

Then they called in the blonde. The told her about the mission and asked her the same question as the other two. She thought about it for a while and finally decided. She told them that she wanted to visit the sun.

Now the NASA offcials were very confused. They looked at each other and the said, “But you know that you would be burnt to death because the sun is so hot.”

The blonde replied, “DUH! I’d go at night!”

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.

“I’ll just catch my own alligator,” she told one shopkeeper, so I can get a pair of shoes for free.” She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.

Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.

She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.

“Oh, NO! the blonde shouted in dismay. “This one isn’t wearing any shoes EITHER!”

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, “I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there.” That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband.

He says, “I’ve never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look.”

The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her.

Then the girl says, “I’ve never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?”

So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, “I hope you’re satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine.”

Her husband says, “You think you were embarrassed…I had
the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me.”