Ethnic Cultural Jokes

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the “Arkansas Edition of Windows 98″ may have accidentally
been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have one of the Arkansas Editions, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The Arkansas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of Frank Broyles superimposed on the Razorback flag.
It is shipped with a Leann Rimes screen saver.

Also note:

The “Recycle Bin” is labeled “Outhouse.”

“My Computer” is called “This Infernal Contraption.”

“Dialup working” is called “Good Ol Boys.”

“Control Panel” is known as “The Dashboard.”

“Hard Drive” is referred to as “4-Wheel Drive.”

“Floppies” are “Them Little Ol’ Plastic Disc Thangs.”

Other features:

Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

Terminology:

OK ………’ats aww-right
Cancel…… hail no
Reset …… aw shoot
Yes …….. shore
No ……… Naaaa
Find ……. hunt-fer it
Go to ….. over yonder
Back ……. back yonder
Help ……. hep me out here
Stop ……. ternit off
Pause …… fixin’ to
Start …… crank it up
Settings … sittins
Programs … stuff that does stuff
Documents .. stuff I done done

Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Arkansas Edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

Q- What do you call two Puerto Ricans playing basketball?

A- Juan on Juan

What’s the difference between Canadians, Australians and Americans?

Canadians say, “Eh?”
Australians say, “Eh mate!”
and Americans say, “Hey, wanna mate?”

Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation, saying, “This is marvelous. What enabled women here to achieve this wonderful reversal of roles?”

The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, “Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?” To which the mother replies, “Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work.”

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, “Ahhhhhhh, C’mon lady!!!! Tell your daughter the truth, for crying out loud!!! They’re hookers!”

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, “Mommy, do the ladies have any children?”

The mother replies, “Of course dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?”