Funny Stories Jokes

Dan went to his friend’s house, unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, “You can either sleep on the floor in the living room or you can sleep in the room with Baby.”

Dan said that he would prefer the floor.

The next morning, he went to the bathroom, and there he met this gorgeous young blonde. “Hi,” he said, “who are you?”

“I’m Baby, and who are you?”

“I’m stupid,” he said.

A old man walks into the pharmacy he says, “You need to do something about these labels, they are kinda hard to read.”

He said, “I have a prescription for Viagra and one for a laxative. Last night I got them mixed up and I couldn’t tell if I was coming or going.”

Mr. Reiss got himself a new secretary. Maggie was young, sweet and polite. She was also quite witty.

One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open and, on leaving the room, she said “Oh, Mr Reiss, did you know that your barracks door is open?”

He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling her in, he asked “By the way, Miss Bolt, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you see a soldier standing at attention?”

“Why, no, Mr. Reiss,” she replied. “All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags.”

I. A termite walks into a tavern and says: “Where’s the bar tender.”

II. A horse walks into a tavern and says: “Hay, Bartender.”

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