(2 votes, average: 2.5 out of 5)
Loading ...Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as the
walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, “Vietnam, 1969.”
The other hooks his thumb behind him says, “Dog shit, 20 feet back.”
(1 votes, average: 1 out of 5) Loading ...Mike is allowed to fight again with one RESTRICTION …….
He must wear a MUZZLE.
(6 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5) Loading ...Now I know that alot of people think that the chicken crossed the road for personal gain and self revalation or whatever else…
But the real reason is simple.
So ask yourself
Why did the chicken cross the road?
And realize that the only true answer to the question is this.
To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
(2 votes, average: 2.5 out of 5) Loading ...The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest… and on, and on.
One afternoon an orderly entered the room. “Time to take your temperature, General.” After growling at the orderly, the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer. “Sorry, General, but for this test we need your temperature from the other end.” A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, “Stay exactly like that and don`t move. I`ll be back in five minutes to check up on you.” and withdrew.
An hour later, the head nurse entered the room, saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped, “What`s going on here?” “Haven`t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?” the general barked.
“Yes I have, General, but with a daffodil?”
(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5) Loading ...Three old men in a convalescent hospital are shooting the breeze when the seventy-year-old one exclaims: “You know, if I had just one wish, I’d wish that I could take a nice long piss.”
The eighty-year-old man said: “Well, I only wish that I could take a nice long shit.”
The ninety-year old man replies: “Boys, every morning at 7:00 a.m. sharp, I take a nice long piss, then every morning at 9:00a.m. sharp, I take a nice long shit. I only wish that I could wake up before eleven.”
