Funny Stories Jokes

In keeping with the King of Bubis story who gets a new throne built everyday:

Instead of throwing these thrones away, the king’s servants store the extra thrones in the attic of his grass shack….since they were worried that during the dry season, they might not get enough rain to grow the tall grasses with which to weave and fashion a new throne.

Well, later that year, there was a minor earth tremor, and all those thrones that were saved up in the attic came tumbling down right on top of the king and sent him to the hospital with various bumps and bruises…Poor guy!

The moral to this story is that people who live in grasshouses shouldn’t stow thrones.

A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day.

“What for?” he snapped at the judge.

His Honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, “Twenty dollars contempt of court. That’s why!”

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented.

“That’s alright. You don’t have to pay now.”

The young man replied, “I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.”

Some folks have it, some don’t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.

Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s an nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It’s more fun when it’s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that’s the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

Once you’ve started playing with it, it’s hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn’t have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what kind of person you’re dealing with until it’s too late.

If you don’t apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you’ll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you’re not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp you behavior. Later you may ask yourself “why on earth did I do that?”

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same things it did before.

Pablo Picasso visited his local cabinetmaker to commission a mahogany wardrobe for his chateau. To illustrate the shape and dimensions he required, he drew a hasty sketch on a sheet of paper and handed it to the craftsman. “How much will it cost?” he asked.

“Nothing at all,” replied the cabinetmaker. “Just sign the sketch.”

Two mimes walk into a McDonald’s. As they approach the counter, the cashier says, “Can I take your order?” and they say, “