Funny Stories Jokes

One day two Polish men were walking down the road.

One man had a basket with chickens in it.

At that time he said to the other man, “If you can guess how many chickens are in this basket I’ll give you one of them.”

So the other man says “No, I want two chickens.”

So the man with the chickens says, “I’ll tell you what if you can guess how many chickens are in this basket I’ll give you both of them!”

So the other man says three.

Mommy Mommy why is daddy running so fast?

SHUT UP and step on the gas.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.

“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!”

A businessman was flying over Chicago in his small airplane when suddenly the engine stopped.

He reached behind the seat, grabbed his parachute and bailed out of the plane.

On the way down to earth he met a woman wearing an apron going up.

He shouted to her, “Hey lady, do you know anything about parachutes?”

She replied, “No sir, do you know anything about gas stoves?”

How Do You Catch An Elephant?

First you have to dig a big hole. Then you fill it with ashes. Sprinkle peas on top to camoflauge it. When the elephant goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.