Golf Jokes

Four men went golfing together one day; the three men started for the first tee while the other went to pay his bill.

The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home - for free!”

The second man said “My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs.”

The third man, not to be outdone, said, “My son is a stock broker and he is doing so well he gave a friend an entire stock portfolio.”

The fourth man had finally joined them on the tee after paying the bill. The first man mentioned that they were talking about their sons and asked, “How is your boy doing?”

The fourth man rather sheepishly replied, “Well, I’m not proud to say that my son is gay, but he must be doing something good-his last three boyfriends gave him a house, two Cadillacs, and a stock portfolio.”

A country club didn’t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women’s club and became very active.

After about six months, the governing board of the club received a letter from the women’s club complaining about the men urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter.

After another six months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action.

After due deliberation, they sent the women’s club a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges!

Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.

“I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon.

“What for?” asked his colleague.

“About $6,000.”

“What did he have?”

“About $6,000.”

Jack & Jill were walking off the eighteenth green as Jack was adding up both their scores. Jack says to Jill, “I’d move heaven and earth if I could break 100!”
Jill replies, “You better try heaven, you just moved half of the earth!”

One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Jim excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: “Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here.”

Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: “What’s the matter Jim?”

Jim shouts back in a nervous voice:”Throw me my 7-iron! You can’t get out of here with an 8-iron.”