Indian Jokes

There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking in the desert together, when suddenly one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. Then, he hollered into the cave, “Woo! Woo! Woo!

A moment later, the Indian heard a response, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” so he tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The puzzled Polish fellow asked the other Indian what that was all about, and the Indian replied, “It’s mating time for us Indians, and when you see a cave and holler, a response from the cave means that she is in there waiting for you.

The intrigued Pollack started running around the desert, looking for a cave to find a woman for himself. Sure enough, the Pollack soon found a large cave nearby. He thought to himself, “Look at the size of that cave!!! It’s bigger than the one that Indian found. There must REALLY be something really GREAT in this cave!”

So, the Pollack approached the cave with high hopes of ecstacy and grandeur. When he was at the mouth of the cave, he hollered, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” just as the Indian had done.

A moment later, the Pollack heard a response, “Woo! Woo! Woo! so he tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The next day’s headlines in the local newspaper read, “NAKED POLLACK RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!”

Top Ten Times in history when using the “f” word was appropriate:

10) “What the f**k was that?” - Mayor of Hiroshima

9) “Where did all these f**king Indians come from?” - Custer
“Any f**king idiot could understand that.” - Einstein

7) “It does SO f**king look like her!” - Picasso

6) “How the f**k did you work that out?” - Pythagoras

5) “You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?” - Michaelangelo

4) “I don’t suppose it’s gonna f**king rain.” - Joan of Arc

3) “Scattered f**king showers… my ass!” - Noah

2) “Hand over the f**king tapes?!?” - Nixon

And the number one most appropriate reason to use the “f” word….

1) “Who the f**k is going to find out?” - Bill Clinton

A cowboy & Indian scout been in the desert for a while. Indian travel on foot & tracked on this mission. Job completed, headed for town. Closer they got, the cowboy thought about how good a cold beer would taste, so he road faster & faster. Tried not to overheat the horse or his Indian companion. When they got to the saloon, the horse was lathered with sweat & heat. No air stirring & worried his horse would die, he asked the Indian to run around the horse, stir air on him til the horse cooled down. He went on in & had a brew.

A 2nd cowboy comes in the saloon and asked, “Is that your black horse out there?”

The cowboy replied, “Yeah, what about it?”

The 2nd cowboy replied, “Well, you left your injun running.”

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce Indian tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”

The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, “A pistol for me, please.” The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There’s blood gushing out all over, it’s terrible.

The chief is appalled, and screams, “What are you doing???”

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, “So much for your canoe, asshole!”

An Indian girl comes home one day and confronts her mother: “Hey mom I think I got a bad case of v.d.”

“Well put it in the basement, then,..” the mother replies, “your father will drink anything”.