Indian Jokes

So this reporter checks in at some old hotel smack in middle of nowhere. Coming into the lobby, he is confronted with the strange sight of an old Indian, whittling stick, long black hair, reddish skin, sitting on one of the chairs as if he intends never to get up.

“That’s Old Chief Forget-Me-Not,” whispers the man behind the desk reverently, “he is allowed to stay here for free because he let me build my hotel on his reservation.”

“Why the weird name?” whispers the reporter.

“Old Chief NEVER forgets anything that happened to him since he was two. Now he is 102. Fantastic memory.”

Once the reporter has checked in, he decides to check out old Forget-Me-Not.

“Hey Chief!” he calls, “What’d you have for breakfast on the morning of your 21st birthday?”

“Eggs,” replies the Chief without even looking up.

The reporter is so amazed, he jumps in his car and drives at least two hours over to where his other reporter friend is staying. Once telling the story over, both reporters jump in the car and drive right back two hours to the hotel, smelling a big scoop.

On the way, the second reporter tells the first: “Why don’t you address the Chief more respectfully, so he’ll demonstrate to us more?”

Following his friend’s advice, the first reporter greets the Chief with a resounding “HOW!!”

“Scrambled,” replies the Chief.

One day in the old west the U.S states government wanted to move all the Indians to a reservation.

The Head of State went to the the tribe and told the Indians that they had to move. The chief’s name was Bowels, and when he heard the Head of State tell the Indians that they were to move to the reservation, he replied, “Bowels no move”.

Well the Head of State heard this and thought that was just awful so he told the chief that he would send him to a doctor to straighten this out. The Chief figures that a “doctor” is the person to complain to so his people wouldn’t have to move to the reservation.

The next day the Chief goes into the doctor’s office and says, “Bowels no move.” Well, the doctor says, “That is terrible. I want you to take this pill three times a day and it will help.” The Chief figures if he takes the pill then his people can stay.

The next day the Chief comes back to the doctor’s office and once agian says, “Bowels no move.” The doctor says, “Take the pill 6 times a day.” The chief figures what the hell if it allows his people to stay on the reservation.

Well he comes back the next day and once again says, “Bowels no move.” The doctor says that he should now take the pill every hour so once again the chief does what the doctor says hoping it will help his people.

He comes back the next day walks into the doctor’s office and says “Bowels move now, teepee full of shit.”

What do you call lesbian indians?

Fur Traders

There was a cowboy riding in a desert, he came across a Indian laying in the desert, naked.

He asked the Indian what he was doing. The Indian said, “Me tell time.”

The cowboy aked what time it was, the Indian said 4:00. The cowboy said, “You are right.” The cowboy got back on the horse and started riding again.

Soon the cowboy came across another Indian doing the same thing. He asked what he was doing. He said, “Me tell time.”

The cowboy asked what time it was, the Indian said 5:00. The cowboy said, “You are right.” Then he got back on his horse and started riding.

Then he came across another Indian doing the same, but he was jacking-off. The cowboy asked what he was doing. The
Indian said “Me wind clock”.

Many Indian tribes of South America practiced a little known ritual..only recently discovered by archeologists.

It seems that in order to please their gods they would sacrifice a virgin once a year. They would do this by hanging her from a tree till death. However, rather than taking her down they would leave her hanging there until she would decompose.

When that time came they would all gather in a circle around her body and sing “Swing Low, Sweet Cherry-rot”..