Indian Jokes

The missionaries were doing their best to convert the local Indians, and to stop their consumption of liquor but to no avail. Finally they introduced them to tea. Iced tea, hot tea, etc. The Indians loved it!

They drank it every morning, every afternoon, evenings. It was great! Soon tho, it seemed to get out of hand. All this tea drinking, all the time… even at their parties and pow-wows.

One pow-wow in particular it seemed they must’ve overdone it. They had drank the tea all morning, all day, all evening, late into the nite.

Eventually they retired to their respective abodes.

The next morning several were found dead! Doctors came in, specialists came in, but no one could figure out the cause of deaths…

After many tests, and many talks it was decided.

They must’ve died in their tea pee!

Q: What do you call a gay indian?

A: Poke-a-hinee

A foreigner was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” said the foreigner.

“That’s the Memory Man.” said the bartender. “He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.”

So the foreigner goes over, and thinking he won’t know about English football, asks “Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?”

“Liverpool,” replies the Memory Man.

“Who did they beat?”

“Leeds,” was the reply.

“And the score?”

“2-1.”

“Who scored the winning goal?”

“Ian St. John,” was the old man’s reply.

The foreigner was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he returned.

A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and more wrinkled. Because he was so impressed, the foreigner decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue.

He approached him with the greeting “How”.

The Memory man replied, “Diving header in the six yard box.”

The Indian tour guide is explaining the re-enactment of an ancient Indian courting ritual. As they watch, an Indian brave approaches the mouth of a small cave, cups his hands to his mouth and calls out: “Ha-woo, ha-woo?” From the back of the cave comes a faint answering, feminine “Ha-woo! Ha-woo!” The Indian brave strips off his clothing and runs into the cave.

A Pollock in the tour group gets an idea. He sneaks away, finds the biggest cave he can and calls out, “Ha-woo, Ha-woo?” From the back of the cave comes a faint answering, “Ha-woo, ha-woo!” The Pollock strips off his clothing and runs into the cave.

The next day, the headline on the local paper reads: “Naked Pollock Killed by Train”

Ever wonder what it would be like if President Clinton had been born an American Indian Chief? He would most probably be known by the whole Indian tribe as “Chief Crazy Pants.” And his intern? She would most likely be some young Indian maiden named “Kneeling Fox.”