(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ...Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher.
“Johnny,” she said, “you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?”
“My daddy said it,” he responded.
“Well, that doesn’t matter,” explained the teacher. “You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do, too!” Little Johnny retorted. “It means the car won’t start.”
(3 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...One day little Johnny came home from school and saw that a new house was being built down the block. His mom told him he could go watch if he promised to be very careful and stay out of the way.
When he got back, he was very excited and told his mom he learned something new. “Take one end of this piece of string and go to the other end of the room.” After she did this, he tried to line her up, “Cunt hair left, no, now a cunt hair right…”
His mom was shocked. “Johnny, I told you you’d get a whipping if you used that kind of language, now go out back and get me a switch.”
Johnny replied, “Fuck the switch, Mom. That’s the electrician’s job.”
(2 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...“Ok, now who can recite the alphabet for the class?” asked Johnny’s teacher. “Raise your hand if you would like to try”.
Johnny raised his hand, yelling, “Teacher, teacher! I have to pee!”
“Ok Johnny, recite your alphabet, then you can go. Well, not wanting to be rude to the teacher, Johnny started slowly.
“Stand up when you speak,” said the teacher. He stood up, crossing his legs. “ABCDEFG… um.. HIJK… hmmm… LMNO…. ummm..QRSTUVWXYZ”
“Very good,” said the teacher, “but where is your P?”
“It’s running down my leg!” said Johnny.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill.
“Johnny what’s the matter?” she asked.
Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Little Johnnie Christmas -
Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do?
The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnnie what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.”
Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.
When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, “What did Santa bring you this year?”
Johnny replied, “I think I got a dog but I can’t find the S O B!”
