Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says “Today we
are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody
have an example of a multi-syllable word?”

Little Johnny waves his hand, “Me, miss, me, me!”

Teacher says “All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-
syllable word?”

Little Johnny says “Mas-tur-bate.”

Teacher smiles and says “Wow, little Johnny, that’s a mouthful.”

Little Johnny says “No, miss, you’re thinking of a blowjob. I’m talking about a wank.”

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.

“Yes,” he said. “I do. My dad taught me.”

“Good. What comes after three?” she asked.

“Four,” answered the boy.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven.”

“Very good,” said the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?”

“A Jack,” says the kid.

Little Johnny asked, “Mommy, where do babies come from?”

His mother replied, “The stork brings them.”

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, “Then who fucks the storks?

Little Johnny was in church with his mom and dad. This Sunday they happened to be sitting behind a woman whose dress was full of static electricity. When she stood up to sing the next hymn, her dress got stuck in the crack of her butt.

Little Johnny, being very naughty, reached out and grabbed her dress and pulled it out of her crack.

“JOHNNY!” cried his mother, “Don’t ever do that again!”

The woman in the dress was also mortified, humiliated, and angry. She scolded Johnny: “I don’t LIKE it when you do that!”

The next week they all went to church again, and would you believe they were seated behind the exact same woman? Anyway, Johnny’s mother noticed that her dress didn’t have any static in it so she wasn’t too worried.

When the woman stood up for the next hymn, Johnny reached out his hand and shoved the woman’s dress into her crack. When his mother gasped, Johnny said “But I thought she wanted it there!”

A teacher is talking to her class full of infants. “If your mother was a bird, what sort would she be?” she asks the children.

The first child says, “If my mummy was a bird, she’d be a dove.”

“That’s nice,” said the teacher, “why’s that?”

“Because she’s beautiful and pure and reminds me of a dove,” says the little boy.

“If my mummy was a bird, she’d be a stork,” says the second boy.

“Oh and why’s that?” says the teacher.

“Because she’s tall and elegant and reminds me of a stork,” says the boy.

“If my mummy was a bird she’d be a thrush,” says Little Johnny.

“Why’s that?” says the teacher.

“Because she’s an irritating cunt!”