Little Johnny Jokes

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. “Jane, Do you know any polysyllabic words?”

After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. “Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon……day. Does anyone know another word?”

Little Johnny from the back of the room yells, “I do! I do!”

Knowing Johnny’s more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. “Saturday,” says Mike. “Great, that has three syllables…”

Not wanting to be outdone, Johnny says, “I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!”

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, “O.K. Johnny what is your
four syllable word?”

Johnny proudly says, “Mas…tur…ba…tion.” Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure, says, “Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That’s certainly is a mouthful.”

“No Ma’am, your thinking of ‘blowjob’, and that’s only two syllables.”

Little Johnny is walking down the laneway one morning with something cupped in his hands. An old farmer sitting on the porch sees him coming and wonders what he is up to.

“Hey little Johnny, whatcha got there in your hands?”

Johnny replies, “Got me a bullfrog…goin to town to get me a bull.”

The old farmer just chuckles. A short while later, here comes Johnny leading a bull. The old farmer scratches his head in amazement.

Next day, here comes Johnny down the lane again with something cupped in his hands. The old farmer looks up and asks again, “Johnny, whatcha got in your hands?”

Johnny replies, “Got me a horsefly…goin to town to get me a horse.”

The old farmer sits back and waits. Sure enough, a short while later, here comes Johnny leading a horse. The old guy is stunned.

Very next morning, here comes Johnny down the laneway with something in his hands. The old farmer looks up and asks, “Johnny, whatcha got in your hands today?”

Johnny replies, “Got me a pussy willow…goin to town…”

“Wait for me, I’m comin with you!” yells the old farmer.

Little Johnny is sitting in a buth at dairy queen all dressed up in his cowboy suit and two guns in his pocket.

The waitress walks up to him and asks him what he wants he says : I want a sunday.

The waitress ask if he want wip cream .he pulls his guns out of his pockets and says yeah!

The waitress asks him if he wants nuts on his sunday he pulls his guns out of his pockets and says yeah!!

The waitress asks him if he wants his nuts crushed.

Little johnny pulls out the two guns from his pockets and says :Do you want you tits blown off?!!!!!!

Little Johnnie’s teacher asked the students to use the word FASCINATE in a sentence.

Susie raised her hand and the teacher called on her. She said, “The stars really are fascinating.”

The teacher said, “No Susie, I wanted you to use just ‘fascinate’.”

Scottie raised his hand and was called on. He said, “The museum we went to last week fascinated me.”

Again the teacher said, “No Scottie, I wanted you to use just ‘fascinate’.”

Finally Johnnie raised his hand and was called on. He said, “I got a sentence!! My sister’s boobs are so big she can only FASTEN EIGHT buttons on her shirt!!!”

Little Johnny got his first job as a busboy in a restaurant. After a lady spills her drink, she requested little Johnny to clean up her mess. Little Johnny was too busy avoiding work so he never got to her. The lady then found Little Johnny flirting with a young lady at the corner of the restaurant.

Angrily she went and said, “Listen, busboy, I thought I told you to clean my mess up.”

Frustrated, Little Johnny said, “Geez, lady, I don’t come to your job and start jumping and down the bed….”