Little Johnny Jokes

One day Little Johnny ran into the bathroom while his mother was just getting out of the shower.

“Mommy, where’s your little willy?”

“Well, Johnny, only boys have willies. Girls have hedgehogs.”

The next day, Little Johnny ran into the bathroom again, but this time, his grandmother was just getting out of the shower. Granny tried to cover herself quickly, but Little Johnny said, “It’s okay, Mommy already told me about willies and hedgehogs… but how did yours die?”

“Why do you think it died?” Granny asked.

Johnny replied, “‘Cause it’s tongue is hanging out!”

Dear Abby,
I’ve been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now, I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can’t remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do? - Lovelorn, Portland, OR

Dear Lovelorn:
If she coughs, fuck her.

A homophobic father admitted his 5 year old son into a military school because his son drew a picture of a rainbow. After 10 years the son thanked his father for admitting him there because that is where he met his boyfriend.

Little Johnny came home from school one day and told his mother that he learned a new word.

“It starts with an ‘F’ and ends with a ‘K’!” he told her.

His mother thought for a moment and smacked him. Little Johnny sobbed, “Mommy, what’s wrong with ‘firetruck’?!”

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay, we can play that game again!”