Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!”

The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow
you to go.”
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger breasts, you’d be a ten!”

The teacher asked Little Johnny if he had to go to the potty because he was fidgeting in his seat. Johnny said, “Man, if I had to take a dump, I’d pull down my pants and go anywhere I damn pleased.”

“But Johnny,” said the teacher. “Remember, good boys always wash their hands after taking a poop.”

“Why?” replied Johnny. “I ain’t gonna eat it.”

One day Johnny is riding his tricycle in the house.
He pulls up to his brother’s room and says, “Anybody getting on the bus, get the fuck on! Anybody getting off the bus, get the fuck off! And anybody staying on, get to the fucking back!!”

His brother looked at him and said, “Don’t let Mom hear you saying that or she’ll be awful mad.”

So Johnny wheeled down to his sister’s room and hollered, “Anybody getting on the bus, get the fuck on! Anybody getting off the bus, get the fuck off! And anybody staying on, get to the fucking back!!”

His sister looked at him and said, “Don’t let Mom hear you saying that or she’ll be awful mad.”

So Johnny wheeled down through the kitchen where his mother was doing dishes. He pulled up beside her and said, “Anybody getting on the bus, get the fuck on! Anybody getting off the bus, get the fuck off! And anybody staying on, get to the fucking back!!”

Well Johnny’s mother dropped what she was doing, spun around and knocked him right off his bike.

Johnny jumped up and said, “That’s it Lady, fuck around! We’re already five minutes late!!!”

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying. So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

“Little Johnny, answer this math question,” she said. “If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?”

“An orgy,” answered Little Johnny.

Little Johnny sat in the back of his science class one morning. The teacher rarely called upon him during discussions because he always had a remark to make that would disrupt the class.

The teacher came into the classroom with an embalmed cat and said they would study anatomy that day. She asked what was holding the cat’s tail onto its body.

Little Johnny waved his hand frantically, but the teacher called on someone else who gave the answer “skin.” The teacher wrote skin on the chalkboard. Another student called upon said “muscle,” and the teacher wrote that on the chalkboard, all the while knowing that Little Johnny was frantically waving his arm.

Yet another student said “bone,” and a fourth student said that “tendons” were holding the cat’s tail in place.

Little Johnny was now going nuts, and the teacher, thinking that all of the answers had been given, finally called on him. He walked up to the front of the class, grabbed the cat by the tail, picked it up, studied it carefully for a few seconds and announced, “Teacher, from the looks of those nuts, I’d say it was bolted on!”