(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ...Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date were naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart.
“I suppose you’re going to tell me now that you’re waiting for ‘Mr. Right’,” he said dejectedly.
“That’s a silly old romantic notion,” laughed the coed. “I’m just waiting for Mr. Big.”
(1 votes, average: 2 out of 5) Loading ...This newlywed couple decided to take golfing lessons. So the husband went to the golf trainer and he hit the ball. It went about 50 yards, not very balanced and not a good hit.
So the trainer said, “Hold the golf club like you would your wife’s breasts.” So he did and it was a perfect hit, hole in 1.
When the wife went to the trainer, she did the same thing, not a very good hit, about 40 yards.
So the trainer said “Hold the golf club like you would your husband’s penis.” She hit the ball and it went about 3 feet.
Then the trainer said, “Now take the golf club out of your mouth and hit the ball again”
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...In school one day the teacher decided she would teach about materials in science class. So she stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?”
Little Richie raised his hand and said, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche.”
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie Marie.
Little Susie said, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette.”
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, “I would want silicone.”
The teacher said, “Why Johnny?”
He responded by saying, “because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!”
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...Little Johnny was considered well endowed, and his Mother told him never to pull it out in public.
One day, Johnny came home and put a large turkey on the table. His mother asked him where he got it, and he said he won it. When asked how, he said a group of guys were having a contest. Whoever had the biggest penis would win the turkey.
Shocked, his Mother shouted, “You didn’t pull that thing out in public, did you?”
To which Johnny replied, “Hell, no, Mom, I just pulled enough out to win the turkey!”
(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...A guy’s walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette.
He says, “Kid, you’re too young to smoke.”
Johnny looks up and doesn’t say anything.
The guy says, “How old are you?”
Johnny says, “Six.”
The guy says, “Six? When did you start smoking?”
Johnny says, “Right after the first time I got laid.”
The guy says, “Right after the first time you got laid?
When was that?”
Johnny says, “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”
