Man and Woman Jokes

In the beginning God created the earth and rested. Later he created men and rested. Soon he created women and from then on neither God nor man has rested.

A very shy man is with all his college buddies in a bar one day, and he notices a very attractive girl sitting by herself. After gathering enough courage, he finally gets up and asks her if he chould buy her a drink, whereby she screams, “NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!”

The man, after being humiliated goes back to his buddies and sits down.

Ten minutes later, the woman comes over to him and apologizes to him saying that she is in university, and is studing the effect of embarassment on men, to which he screams “WHAT - 200 DOLLARS? - THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE WORTH THAT!!”

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

I see you can’t think of anything either.

A man walks into a morgue and askes the undertaker for a brain he can use as a transplant for himself.

The undertaker says, “Well we have two brains, a man and a woman’s. The man’s brain is $2 and the woman’s brain is 20,000,000.”

“Why is the woman’s brain so expensive?” the man asks.

The undertaker says, “Well, it hasn’t been used much.”

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone!”

And the #1 reason why God created Eve…

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, “I can do better than THAT!”