Man and Woman Jokes

This guy in New York bought a lotto ticket everyday, and everyday he told his son,
” son, if I win the lotto, it’s going to be France, champagne and Brigitte Bardot.”
The next day again he comes home shows the lotto tickets to his son and says, “son, if I win the lotto it’s going to be France, champagne and Brigitte Bardot.” Finally his son, tired of hearing the same thing, askes, ” Dad what if you dont win?”
His dad replies, ” Then it will be Brooklyn, Budweisser and your mother!”

What do you call a good looking guy in Juneau, Alaska?

A tourist!

Two women were chatting at the local rodeo when they noticed a man strut by . . . shirtless and wearing tight cut-off shorts.

“He must think,” the first woman said, shaking her head, “that he is God’s gift to women.”

The second one laughed and said, “I hope he kept the receipt.”

What do wives and tornadoes have in common?

In the biggining there is a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you have no house.

10. I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly.)

9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly.)

8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly.)

6. I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly.)

5. I don’t date women where I work. (You’re ugly.)

4. It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly.)

3. I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly.)

2. I’m celibate. (You’re ugly.)

….and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

1. Let’s be friends. (You’re the ugliest f*#$king bitch that has ever existed on this planet.)