Man and Woman Jokes

If a gay couple and a lesbian couple are to take a trip to Asia who would get there first?

The lesbian, because they would get there lick-ity split while the gay guy would still be at home packing each others shit.

If a man speaks in the forest and there’s no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

flatulence (fla-chu-lens) n.

female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.

male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys :
- 1 bar of soap
- 1 toothbrush
- 1 tube toothpaste
- 1 loaf of bread
- 1 pint of milk
- 1 single serving cereal
- 1 single serving frozen dinner

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, “Single, are you?”

The woman replies very sarcastically, “How did you guess?”

He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society…..

DIRECTRA: a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA: men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA: men taking this drug reported a sudden over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and “little” accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA: in clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA: married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweethearts expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store’s return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA: has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

FLATULAGRA: this complex drug converts men’s noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA: this drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

LIAGRA: this drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.