Man and Woman Jokes

What do you say to a man with two black eyes?

Nothing hes already been told twice

If Man is King…
And King is Ruler…
And a Ruler is 12 Inches…
Then Whatever Happened to Man?!?!?!

Love is only the amount of time it takes you to figure out that you hate her as much as your friends do.

A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears.

The genie said, “I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one.”

The man thought for a while and finally said, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I’ve never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me and boats make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii.”

The genie thought for a few minutes and said, “No, I can’t do it. Imagine all the work involved. All the piling to hold up the highway needed and all the pavement. Ask for somehting else.”

“Well,” the man said. “I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they tempermental, why are they so difficult to get along with. Basically, what makes them tick.”

The genie considered this for a couple of minutes and said, “So, do you want two lanes or four?”

How many male chauvinists does it take to clean a
toilet???

None it’s a woman’s job.