Man and Woman Jokes

WOMEN ONLY NEED 4 ANIMALS IN THEIR LIFE……
(1)A MINK ON THEIR SHOULDERS
(2)A RABBIT ON THEIR BACK
(3)A JAG IN THEIR DRIVEWAY
(4)AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST……
A JACKASS TO PAY FOR IT ALL

Name three things a man is good for.

THREE?! Hell I can’t even think of one!!!!

Q: Why don’t single girls fart?

A: They don’t have assholes til they get married.

Jim has three girlfriends, but he doesn’t know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5,000.00 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells Jim, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.”

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because, Jim, I love you so much.”

The third one takes the $5,000.00 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5,000.00 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, “Jim, I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”

So Jim thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

A question every woman asks herself daily:
“Why do men always have to act so stupid?”

Answer: “Who says they’re acting?”