(5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5)
Loading ...Use a calculator for this joke.
A doctor says to a woman, “You have a sixty-nine inch bustline. (Type 69) That’s too, too, too large. (Enter 222 after 69.) I’m giving you these pills. You have to take them 5 times a day (Enter 51 after 69222) for the next 8 days. (Multiply 6922251 by 
Press <>, then flip the calculator upside-down for the effects of the pills!
(1 votes, average: 1 out of 5) Loading ...My grandfather, who had lived his whole 90 years in Boston, was admitted to the hospital with a serious infection. The situation worsened, and the doctors were very concerned for his life.
The hospital priest went in to give Pop communion and asked if he would like to pray for “something.” Pop hesitated for a moment, then said that being in the bed had given him time to think about the truly important things in life, and yes he would like the priest to pray for something. The priest asked what he should pray for, and Pop looked up at him and said:
“I’d like the Red Sox to win a game.”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...So this little, tiny guy walks into his doctor’s office screaming, “Doctor! Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!!!”
The doctor says, “I have to deal with this other patient first and then I’ll get to you.”
The little guy screams, “But doctor!! I’m SHRINKING!!”
Exasperated, the doctor says, “Well I’m sorry, you’ll just have to be a little patient!”
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife is hard of hearing.
The doctor suggests that he bring her in for an examination, but the man says she won’t come in. Man asks the doctor if there is something he can do. The doctor tells him to go home, and say something to his wife from far away, then keep moving closer until she hears him. When he discovers how close he needs to be for his wife to hear him, he’s to measure the distance, and then the doctor will see what he can recommend.
The man goes home and at the front door calls out “Hi, Honey, What’s for dinner?”
…His wife does not respond.
He goes into the living room, and calls out
“Hi, Honey, What’s for dinner?”
….His wife does not respond.
He goes into the kitchen and calls out
“Hi, Honey, What’s for dinner?”
…His wife does not respond.
He walks right up beside her and says
“Hi, Honey, What’s for dinner?”
His wife turns around and says “I’ve told you three times already - we’re having chicken!”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A professor teaching medicine is tutoring a class on ‘Observation.’ He then takes out a jar of yellow-colored liquid.
“This,” he explains holding up the jar, “is urine. To be a good doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight and taste.” After saying this, the professor dips his finger into the jar and puts it into his mouth.
His class watches on, more in disgust than in amazement. But being the diligent students that they are, as the jar is passed from one student to the other, one by one, they dip one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student is done, the professor shakes his head and says, “If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger into the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth.”
