Office Jokes

The National Science Foundation has just completed a study on the recreational habits of corporate america.

The sport of choice for maintenance employees is bowling.

The sport of choice for front line workers is football.

The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball.

The sport of choice for middle managers is tennis.

The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf.

The conclusion of the study indicates that the higher one is on the corporate ladder the smaller the balls become.

It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about 20 people in close quarters, and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on.

All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled.

One man, popping his head out of his cubicle, said, “Oh, man! Someone’s deodorant surely isn’t working!”

A guy in the corner replied, “It can’t be mine . . . I’m not wearing any!”

Manager, interviewing a job applicant: “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.”

Job Applicant: “Well Sir, the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing!”

Q: why did the pregnant lady go to the personnel manager?
A: because she had labour problems

Usually, Dilbert is very realistic, but never so much as in this! Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that:

“Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people.” This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: (which we all accept as true)

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer and scientist knows:

Power = Work/Time

Since: Knowledge = Power and Time = Money, then: Knowledge = Work/Money

Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.