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Loading ...A proctologist walks into a bank to get some cash. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his pocket and tries to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he says to the teller, “Great, just great. Some a..hole is walking around with my pen!”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A guy walked into his friend’s office and found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
“Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asks.
“Oh, it’s my wife”, replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.”
“Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?”
“Neither, he’s bald.”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say “Oh wow, thanks!”
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes”, “in your spare time”, “when you’re freed up”, and “I have an opportunity for you.”
Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.
Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers”.
Change is the norm.
Nepotism is encouraged.
The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.
You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
You read this entire list and understood every word.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A man walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are jerks!”
Upon hearing this a man at the other end of the bar storms up to the man and belts, “You’ve offended me!!”
“Why,” the first man asked, “are you a lawyer?”
“No, I’m a jerk!”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...The IS department has defined a lower cost alternative for Desktop conversions that also addresses the Y2K (Year 2000) issue. The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:
1. No Y2K problems
2. No technical glitches, keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.
4. Substantial hardware cost savings.
Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. What do I do?
A: Pick it up and shake it
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-Sketch document?
A: Don’t shake it.
Addendum: Does anyone have any ideas on how much it would cost to install etch-a-sketch on 300 desktops?
