Politics Jokes

For sale.

1 nuclear warhead.

Phone Baghdad and ask for Saddam.

President Clinton had been walking around the White House and going to public and private meetings all day with a pair of pink ladies underwear on his left arm.

Reporters and staff observed this phenomenon and of course wondered what was going on.

Finally, at an afternoon press conference, Sam Donaldson got brave enough to ask the President why he had a pair of ladies panties on his arm.

The President looked genuinely surprised, and replied, “Oh, that. It’s the patch. I’m trying to quit.”

An old lady just bought a brand new $35 million dollar car. As she was driving home she turned on the radio and it wouldn’t work.

So she turned back around, went back to the dealership where she bought it and said she wanted a different car because her radio didn’t work.

The dealer there said it worked, it was just voice activated. So on the way home she decided to try it out, she said ‘country’ and a George Strait song came on.

So then she said ‘rock ‘n roll’ and a Rolling Stones song came on. So she was pretty satisfied with the song and she kept driving.

A few minutes later a man whipped out in front of her and she yelled ‘Jackass’ — the radio changed the station to Bill Clinton’s Press Conference.

Question: Where was Monica Lewinsky during the President’s State of the Union speech?

Answer: Hiding behind the podium. That’s why Clinton had a smile on his face.

Q. How do you know when a politician is lying?

A. Whenever he opens his mouth!