Politics Jokes

Did you hear that the Melissa virus has mutated?

Now it sucks all the memory out, and it only attacks laptops. The new name is the Monica virus.

“I Suck at My Job”
“What Really Goes Down in the White House”
“How I Blew It in the White House”
“Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President”
“Clear and Present Boner”
“Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule”
“Going Back for Gore”
“Podium Girl”
“Secret Services to the President”
“The Congressional Sutdy on White House Intern Positions”
“Al Gore is in Command for the Next 30 Minutes”
“How to Beat Off the Government”
“Going Down and Moving Up”
“Members of the Cabinet”
“Me and My Big Mouth”
“How to Get a Head in Business”

One day at Little Bastard Elementary school, the children were at class in Mrs. Little’s class. She told the class that there was to be a special type of quiz that day and if you got your question right, you could go home early.

“Alright class, who said ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country’?” Little Suzy rose her hand and answered John Kennedy, so she was dismissed.

“Now, who said ‘Give me liberty or give me death’?” Little Janie rose her hand and said Patrick Henry, and was dismissed.

Little Johnny yelled out, “Stupid girls should keep their mouths closed, and just be used as breeding stock.” When the teacher yelled out, “Who said that?” Johnny quickly replied, “Bill Clinton, see you tomorrow.”

Q: Did you hear that First Dog Buddy died?

A: He jumped into Hillary’s lap and froze to death!

Clinton walked into a press conference with a pair of white
lacy panties under his pit.

Gore asked, “Clinton,why do you have a pair of white lacy underwear under your pit?”

Clinton said, “It is a patch. I am tring to quit.”