Politics Jokes

As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: “Mr. President, would you please return the Flight Attendant to her upright position and prepare to land?”

A reporter asked Clinton one day, “Was Monica lying?”
Clinton responded, “No, she was on her knees.”

Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?
A: She wants to make sure that she is the FIRST lady.

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
A: One had his head blown off in the back of a car, the other was assassinated.

Question: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: None. They generally screw in the Oval Office.

A man named Joe was traveling through the countryside and decided to stop at a bar for a drink. Inside, some of the local patrons were watching the evening news on TV. As a picture of Hillary flashed on the screen, Joe said, “There’s a horse’s ass.”

Right after he said this, a man walked up to him and knocked him off his stool.

A few seconds later, the news showed Chelsea Clinton. Joe said, “There’s another horse’s ass.”

As soon as he finished his sentence, someone else walked up and knocked him off his stool again.

Just as Joe got back up, the news showed a film clip of Bill Clinton. Without thinking, he said, “There’s the biggest horse’s ass of all!”

Immediately, someone else walked up to him and knocked him off his stool again.

When he got back up he said, “What is this, Clinton country?!”

Someone else said, “No, this is horse country.”

What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and a screwdriver?

A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws in turns.

I’m not sure if there is any truth to this, but it sure was funny.

In anticipation of President Clinton’s visit to Oklahoma City, after tornadoes struck on May 3rd, one homeowner, whose home was destroyed, spray painted on what was left of his home, “HEY BILL, HOW’S THIS FOR A BLOW JOB?!”

Before Clinton came, the Secret Service made him get rid of it.