Politics Jokes

As a Republican, I’ll have to admit that Bill and Al are largely responsible for our booming economy.

Of course, I’m referring to Bill Gates and Alan Greenspan!

Q: Who is 100% responsible for the all these hassles- Bill, Monica, Starr, Cigar, Blue dress, Paula, impeachment etc…

A: Hillary. She knows what is Blow and what is Job, but does not know what is a Blow-Job. (Sorry Bill, better luck next time).

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

“WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I had a terrible time with Iran, so I’ve come for some courage.”

“No problem” says the Wizard, “WHO IS NEXT?”

Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well.. Well.. Well.. I need a brain.”

“Done” says the Wizard. “Who comes next before the Great Wizard?”

Up steps George Bush sadly, “I’m told by the American people that I need a heart.”

“I’ve heard it’s true” says the Wizard. “Consider it done.”

Then there is a great silence.
Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn’t say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD CITY?”

“Is Dorothy around?”

Q. What does the D.C. in Washington, D.C., stand for?

A. “Doing Clinton”

(Sing to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Well, dere once was a story ’bout a man named Bill;
Da poor president couldn’t keep his willie still;
Den one day he was workin’ at his desk,
When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest …

Boobs, that is. Two of ‘em. Bodacious ta ta’s.

Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees,
Mouth open wide and as happy as you please;
Bill sez, “oh yeah now-don’t say a thing.”
“If you do a good job then we’ll have a little fling.”

Blow job that is, Phalli osculation.

Well, Bill lost his load and it fell upon her dress,
He said, “Clean it up, ‘cuz you really are a mess,
And you’re invited here to dis fine locality,
To have a heapin’ helpin’ of little Willie C.”

Da wiener, that is. Da presidential
staff.

So week after week, Monica is on her knees,
Keepin’ Willie and his weiner just as happy as you please,
But then she figured out dat the fling had gone too far,
And she blabbed it all to Linda Tripp who blabbed it all to Starr.

Bad girl, that is. Cigars, bodacious ta ta’s.

Well it weren’t too long till we all knew the score,
’bout da stuff dat went down behind da oval office door;
Da country’s in da toilet and da people cry, “No More”
But if we oust da cheatin’ jerk, den we gotta live with Gore.

Boob, that is. Great big one. Head stuck up his rear.

So now ya know da story ’bout Bill our president.
Wonderin’ if dis fling’s gonna cost him every cent;
So da moral of da story is to do it quietly,
And stay outta trouble with dat bitch named Hillary.