Politics Jokes

Bill Clinton arrived Friday in the Virgin Islands to deliver a speech.

That’s not all he delivered.

After he left Monday morning, the government had to change the name of the place.

Q: What do you get if you cross Monica Lewinsky with a Coke?

A: A Blowpop

Q. What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky?

A. I told you to lick my erection not wreck my election!!!

When Chelsea Clinton was eight, Hillary was reading one of her favorite fairy tales.

“Mommy,” asked Chelsea, “Do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once Upon a Time . . . ?’”

“No, Dearest,” replied Hillary, “sometimes they start with ‘Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight . . . .’”

Sing the song below to the tune of “Summer Lovin’” from the musical “Grease.”
Bill: “Summer intern, had me a blast”
Monica: “White house intern, happened so fast”
Bill: “Met a girl, crazy for me”
Monica: “Met the prez, down on my knees”
Bill: “Summer days sucking away but, oh oh, those summer nights”
Investigation Committee: “Well, ah.. well, ah….well, ah UH! Tell us more, tell us more”
Linda Tripp: “Try to remember your best”
Investigation Committee: “Tell us more, tell us more”
Kenneth Starr: “Did he cum on your dress?”
———————————————
Bill: “Wanted to screw her but she had a cramp”
Monica: “The prez is sexy - he makes my panties damp”
Bill: “She gave me head, right in the White House”
Monica: “I said OK, just don’t come in my mouth:
Investigation Committee: “Well, ah.. well, ah….well, ah. uh Tell us more, tell us more”
Linda Tripp: “he sounds like a swell guy”
Investigation Committee: “Tell us more, tell us more”
Kenneth Starr: “Did he tell you to lie?”
———————————————
Bill: “Press found out, it turned into a mess”
Monica: “He gave me fifty bucks to buy a new dress”
Bill: “She promised to lie, she made a vow”
Monica: “Wonder who is servicing him now”
Bill & Monica: “Sex filled dreams, ripped at the seams
But………oh…..

Those White House Nights”