Politics Jokes

What is the difference between a drunken sailor and Monica Lewinsky?

One is a seaman who can’t hold his liquor the other is a licker who can’t hold her semen.

Around the time the Clinton impeachment hearings were under way, I was taking a political science class at a community college. One of our assignments was to prepare a speech on anything related to the presidency.

I’ll never forget when a Japanese student went to the front of the class to deliver his speech:

“My speech today is on the Presidential erection process.” The whole class was cracking up throughout the whole speech because of phrases like “the president’s wife was pleased with the outcome of this year’s erection”, etc.

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.
Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.”
Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”
Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”
Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”
Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”
Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”
Teacher: “That’s right Nancy, you may also leave.”
Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!”
The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?”
Johnny: “BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?”

Did you hear that Chelsea Clinton is sueing Monica Lewinsky?

Chelsea is claiming that Monica swallowed her brother!!

How can you tell when a Politician is lying???

When their moving they’re lips!!