Politics Jokes

What did Bill Clinton do when Monica Lewinsky gave him a
Viagra tablet?

He gave her the 3 thumbs up.

Why are English people more civilized than Americans?

Because they only have to get down on ONE knee when they meet the leader of their country.

Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in the White House?

A: They couldn’t find three wise men, or a virgin.

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it, but couldn’t–the cow was killed.

Hillary told her driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.

About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.

“What happened?” asked Hillary.

“Well,” the driver replied, “the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.”

“My God, what did you tell them?” asked Hillary.

The driver replied, “I just said, I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver, and I just killed the cow.”

There are these two gay guys and they really want to have a baby together, so they go out looking and finally find a woman to bear their child for them… well after the baby’s born they go to the nursery where they keep the newborns and all the babies are screaming!! …but then they see one little boy off to the side and he’s really calm.

They say, “Well that must be ours, he’s just so precious!”
they then asked the nurse and she said, “Yeah, that one is yours.” They asked the nurse why all the other babies were crying, she said, “Well if we took the pacifier out of his ass he would start crying too.”