Politics Jokes

The only thing President Clinton should be impeached for is:

His taste in women!

A little boy wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to “GOD USA,” they decided to send it to President Clinton.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused, he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:

Dear GOD,

Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason, you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.

A mother and her son were flying “Southwest Airlines” from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The stewardess asked, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”

He said that she had.

So she said, “Tell your mother that Southwest always pulls out on time.”

Bill and Hillary were sitting in the bleachers, waiting for a baseball game to start.

A row of secret service agents sat behind them and one leaned forward to whisper into Bill’s ear.

Bill turned around, shrugged at the agent, then lifted Hillary by the scruff of the neck and the seat of the pants and tossed her out onto the field.

The agent just shook his head and said “No, no Mr. President. I said ‘Throw out the first PITCH!’”

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.

Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, “Wow that’s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?” The frog reply’s, “Ribbit Lucky frog.” The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. “What do you think frog?,” the man asks “Ribbit 3 wood.” The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one! The man is befuddled and doesn’t know what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, “OK where to next?” The frog replies, “Ribbit Las Vegas.” They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, “OK frog, now what?” The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.” Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, “What do you think I should bet?” The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, black 6.”

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man yakes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, “Frog, I don’t know how to repay you. You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful.”

The frog replies, “Ribbit Kiss Me.” He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year old girl.

“And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room, so help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.”