Politics Jokes

The Office of Personnel Management for the United States government today announced the 2001 holiday schedule for federal employees.

There will be two fewer holidays in Washington, D.C., next year.

Halloween and Thanksgiving have been cancelled.

The witch is moving to New York, and she’s taking the turkey with her.

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and
hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a
violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.

“Will I be acquitted?”

Paul Harvey reported this morning that the movie, “102 Dalmatians,” was released in Palm Beach County as “97 Dalmatians.”

The Disney folks figured the Democrats down there would come up with the other 5 on their own.

Q: Why have they banned the wearing of skirts at the White House?

A: They were tired of seeing Hillary’s balls

One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he
noticed a little boy standing outside the White House gates. As curiosity got the best of him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing.

As he approached the gates Bill was taken by surprise when he noticed a sign saying “Democratic Dogs For Sale”.

Bill asked the boy about the dogs he was trying to sell. “What’s up son?” Bill asked. To which the little boy replied, “I’m selling Democratic Puppies. Would you
like to buy one Mr. President?’ he answered. “No, Thank you young man. I just got a new dog. But thanks anyway. And good luck,” said the President.

And he jogged away. Thinking about how cute the puppies had been, Bill went to Hillary and told her about the Democratic Puppies. They both laughed about how sweet it was that the little boy was trying to sell his puppies.

The next morning Clinton noticed the same little boy at the gate with the same little puppies.

This day, however the sign read, “Republican Puppies For Sale”.

Bill inquired about the sign stating, “Young man, yesterday when I was here you had a sign stating that these were Democratic Puppies for sale. Now today you call the same puppies Republican Puppies. What’s the deal?”

To which the boy replied, “Yes sir, Mr. President, but today they all have their eyes open.”