Politics Jokes

Presidential Call Girl

Posted in Blonde, Politics
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President Bush was looking for a call girl and he found three such ladies in a local bar: a blonde, a redhead and a brunette.

To the blonde, he said, “I am the President of the United States of America. How much will it cost me to spend some time with you?”

The blonde replied, “For you, Mr. President, it will cost $500.00.”

To the redhead he asked the same question. She replied, “I will spend all the time you want for $1,000.00.”

When he approached the brunette he asked the same question. She said, “If you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes, get your pants as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as times are now and screw me as well as you do the public, believe me, it won’t cost you a damn thing!”


Official memo from the desk of Bill Clinton

Posted in Politics
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Mc Donalds 555-7712
*Paula 555-3258
**Linda 555-6598
Hardees 555-8877
Rib Crib 555-4123
Pizza Hut 555-7413
Escorts-R-Us 555-3298
The Bong Barn 555-9513
***Monica 555-3589


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  • The Pope & The President

    Posted in Heaven, Politics
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    The Pope and President Clinton just happened to die on the same day.

    Now obviously the Pope was to go to heaven and Clinton was supposed to go to hell. Somehow this gets crossed up.

    God and Satan realized their error and Satan sent the Pope up and God sent Clinton down. They just happened to meet in the middle, so they stopped to chit-chat for a minute.

    Clinton asked the pope,”What had you hoped to do when you got to heaven?”

    The Pope replied very solemly, “I had hoped to meet the
    blessed virgin Mary.”

    Clinton replied, “Sorry, you are too late.”


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  • Kennedy Helps Clinton

    Posted in Politics
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    Ted Kennedy approached President Clinton after hearing his address to the nation and said, “Mr. President, I just want you to know that if there’s anything I can do to help, anything at all, just ask.”

    Clinton replied, “Could you drive Monica home?”


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  • Another Politician Bites The Dust

    Posted in Politics
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    After the pompous Congressman was arrested for speeding, he was brought before the judge. The politician spoke in his usual oratorical manner, “I may have been speeding a little bit, Your Honor. But, you see, I’m a Congressman and …”

    “Ignorance is no excuse!” interrupted the judge who then levied a hefty fine on the erring politician.


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