Politics Jokes

Q:What are the plastic surgeons going to do with the cartilage they are going to remove from the nose of Paula Jones?

A:They are going to send it to the New Guinea coast line to protect it from another Sunami.

Now that Viagra has become one of the top prescriptions, you should ask your doctor about:

Mixing Viagra with Prozac - that way, if you don’t get laid, you don’t get upset

Mixing Viagra with herbal Ginko Biloba - that way, if you get laid, you won’t forget

Nasal Spray Viagra - this method is only for Dickheads

Don’t mix Viagra with Rogaine - you’ll turn into Don King

After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings.
“Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?” God asked.
“I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There’s drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it. A regular Sodom and Gomorrah. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex. According to my survey, 88% of the population is doing it. Even four out of five dentists recommend it.
I’m afraid it has reached epidemic proportions.”

“Hmmm,” God said thoughtfully, “Do you have any recommendations as to what should be done to put an end to this sexual perversion?”

“I think we should send a message to everyone on Earth who engages in oral sex. The contents of that message should tell them exactly what will happen to them on Judgment Day if they do not stop this type of activity.” replied St. Peter.

“That is an effective solution,” God stated, “but I think that instead of punishing those who practice oral sex, we should reward those who refrain from it. Let’s send a letter that’s personally signed by me to each one of these good people.”

And so they did.

Do you know what the letter said?

(scroll down)

No?

(scroll down a little more)

Hmmm…You didn’t get the letter either, huh??

Bob Dole chose to take Viagra because he thought it would help him with his election.

Monica Lewinsky has now turned down $2 million for a book deal and $1 million to appear in Penthouse.

Taking these events into account the people at White Owl and Garcia Vega have withdrawn their endorsement offer.